HUMOR | SHORT STORY
I’ve Locked Myself (Naked!) Outside My Apartment
Not even my therapist has words for what I’ve just been through
I’m at that age where I’m old enough to know better. Yet, just last week, I locked myself (naked!) outside my apartment.
It was 6 o’clock in the morning and my REM sleep was interrupted by an urgent need to pee. I got up from my bed, 90% asleep, 100% au natural, and rushed to the bathroom.
Consumed in a new-born style of anger, I smashed closed the door behind me and proceeded to sit on the loo.
Except the loo wasn’t there. I went through the wrong door and was now standing in nature’s garb outside my front door.
As the adrenaline started to kick in, I became 100% awake to the fact that my elderly neighbors would soon be making their way down those stairs, fully dressed, and that would be it. They would take one look at me and my life would be over.
“Oh! The horror!” I could hear them saying, inside my head, in their posh elderly accents.
PANIC. I was desperately trying to re-enact the mindfulness exercises from leadership training and calm my mind just enough so I could think my way out of this situation. But, trust me, there’s no such thing as a…
